Kangaroo Tries to Drown Man - Rolf Harris Unvailable for Comment

Forget about a zombie apocalypse or robots taking over. What you really need to fear is the killer kangaroo! While I've never been to Australia, I'm rethinking ever wanting to go there. Besides the ginormous great white sharks, bird eating spiders and roving gangs of leather-clad dudes driving cars with no body panels, now there are murderous kangaroos afoot!

This is Chris Rickard. He got pwned by a kangaroo while trying to save his dog from a dam. Not only did Rickard get the holy tar kicked out of him by the startled roo, the presumably cute marsupial tried to drown him by holding him underwater!

Apparently the old Australian stockman of whom this song speaks meant it when he said to tie his kangaroo down, sport!

Zombies and Health Care Protestors on Hollywood Blvd

True story. So last night, as I am driving down Hollywood Blvd., I saw not one, but two curious sights. First was the Zombie Walk celebrating the release of "Zombieland". Cool. Hundreds of people in zombie make up lumbering down the street. Then, on the opposite side of Hollywood, was a health care protest. A rather smaller group of people who just don't get it, but still, enough to fill the corner of Hollywood and Highland. Then it gets weird.

A rather old looking hippie type was on the side of the street where the zombies were, instead of with his cohorts. Well, one rather enterprising zombie decided to take this protester's sign and tear it up. Well, I mean, he was obviously a victim of health care right? Being a zombie and all. Well, Mr. Hippie didn't care for this and started to get all up in the decaying grill of the zombie. That is when a group of zombies began surrounding the hippie. Well, he made a hasty retreat away from the undead to say the least.

This inspired me. I rolled down my window, and when the light turned green and I drove past the protesters, I screamed as loud as I could at them: "Don't worry about health care! Worry about the zombies!". I laughed. Very hard. :)

DO NOT WANT!

If the end of the world, whether by robots, zombies, meteors or cute and fuzzy bunnies happened tomorrow, I would NOT eat this!

If you are in San Diego right now... Stay away from the New Moon Panel line!

That piece of advice is because we here at The Society for Protecting People from Crazy Fan Girls have just learned that there is already a line around the building at the San Diego Comic Con for the massive "Twilight/New Moon" panel taking place tomorrow. The line actually started last night. No, we aren't making this up.Now if you are heading into the swirling maelstrom that is the San Diego Comic-Con, just remember, if you have never seen a girl in real life, are afraid of Twi-Hards or have a condition which gives you sparkly skin and a propensity for sucking blood, this is really happening, right now, and you are advised to stay away from the Convention Center at all costs. I recommend going here.

UPDATED!

Here, we have photographic proof that there is an unprecedented wave of humanity sitting in line for an event that happens tomorrow in San Diego. Be afraid! Be very afraid!