Sunday, August 8, 2010

Brave Briton Battles Voluminous Vespidae Villa

If I ever meet British pest controller Sean Whelan, I am going to buy the man a couple rounds of whatever adult beverage he chooses, because in my opinion, this guy is one of the bravest punters around. Why? Because he took on this, and lived!

That, my friends, is a wasp nest. Not just any wasp nest. But the BIGGEST one ever found in all of the Queen's England! The bloody thing measured six FEET by five FEET and was the humble abode of over half a million wasps. (At this point, the writer nearly faints from the prospect).

What is even better, was pest controller Whelan (at this point I shall call him the Right Honorable Protector of the Public Sean Whelan, Special Wasp Squad) had already taken out seven other nests in the attic of a Southhampton pub, before he realized what the last one was, simply because it was so utterly, terrifying ginormous.

The local Smart People in Lab Coats (scientists/experts/people who wear lab coats for fun and profit) say it got so big because of the mild spring and relatively dry weather. I for one am with Corporal Hicks on this one when I say, pub or not, I say we take off, and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.