Robot Attacks Man - This is how Skynet starts you know...

True story: In Sweden, a robot designed to lift heavy rocks attacked and nearly killed a person trying to do maintenance on the bot. Long story short, it was supposed to be powered down, it wasn't, and it attacked the person, nearly killing them. Wall-E was unavailable to comment. While I for one do not necessarily mind have robotic overlords, I would prefer if they reached sentience BEFORE they start trying to pull off our heads!


(not actual robot in question)

If you are in San Diego right now... Stay away from the New Moon Panel line!

That piece of advice is because we here at The Society for Protecting People from Crazy Fan Girls have just learned that there is already a line around the building at the San Diego Comic Con for the massive "Twilight/New Moon" panel taking place tomorrow. The line actually started last night. No, we aren't making this up.Now if you are heading into the swirling maelstrom that is the San Diego Comic-Con, just remember, if you have never seen a girl in real life, are afraid of Twi-Hards or have a condition which gives you sparkly skin and a propensity for sucking blood, this is really happening, right now, and you are advised to stay away from the Convention Center at all costs. I recommend going here.

UPDATED!

Here, we have photographic proof that there is an unprecedented wave of humanity sitting in line for an event that happens tomorrow in San Diego. Be afraid! Be very afraid!

Everybody on Jupiter Panic!

See that white spot on our largest neighboring planet? Something hit it. Something big enough to leave a scar in the atmosphere of the Jovian planet the size of Earth! The HAL9000 was unavailable for comment at press time. What is awesome about this is an amateur stargazer in Australia was the one who spotted the results of the impact. Ahem, can I just say right here that perhaps we need more telescopes looking for things that go boom when they hit planets? Just sayin'.

Scorpions On a Plane. Klaus Meine and Rudolf Schenker Unavailable for Comment

I will not use a cliched epithet uttered by one of our generation's greatest acting talents (Samuel L. Jackson) to describe this story. Nope, you can't make me. It's safe to say though Douglas Herbstsommer of Gilbert, AZ will be more careful packing his carry on baggage in the future, after being stung by a scorpion which had hitched a ride in his bag. Seems the mama scorpion gave birth to a brood of five more little stingers mid-flight to Indianapolis. Southwest Airlines did the sensible thing and fumigated the plane after it landed, it was the only way to be sure. The arthropod involved in this panic was a venomous Arizona Bark Scorpion. German metal band The Scorpions were not involved as they are currently on tour in Europe.

Rogue Black Holes - Not Just a Good Name for a New Spinal Tap Album

Scientists say hundreds (HUNDREDS!) of massive rogue black holes are hanging out at the edge of our Milky Way galaxy. Well isn't that just spiffy.

But these same really smart people also say: "The Earth appears safe, however, with the closest rogue black hole thousands of light-years away."

Oh yes, I feel so much better now. So long as I get a cool floating robot to go with me when I'm spaghettified.

The North Carolina Sewer Creature

Here is your second stand down, no need to panic story in two days. The previously unknown lifeform found in a small sewer pipe in North Carolina has turned out to be colonies of tubifex worms. Still, watching this video is reason enough to instill a modicum of panic amongst people.

Here's your Sunday morning science lesson: These things not only can survive in oxygen depleted, rank and disgusting places (like sewer pipes) but they are delicacies for aquarium fish, as seen above, looking for all the world like annelid bullion cubes.

The Alaskan Blob

Well it seems the inspiration for starting the Everybody Panic! blog has been solved before I even post my first post. It looks like that 15 mile long "biological slick" off Alaska that no scientist has ever seen before (which, doesn't that just make you feel so much better?), is some sort of ocean going algae bloom. Algae? Really? That's all? It's not Gozer the Gozarian assuming a new form of The Destructor or some massive Cthulhu spawn? Ok, unless this turns out to be something more sinister, everbody stand down, there's no need to panic.