A Tornado Warning is Up for So Cal - NOW you can panic!

(((Pretend you hear the Emergency Broadcast System sound effect)))

In the words of Mike The Cool Person, this is actually very serious! The National Weather Service has issued a Tornado Warning for a good chunk of The OC and South LA County. A Warning is different than a Watch, because a Watch means a tornado could possibly happen. A Warning means a spinning cloud of destruction "has been seen or picked up by radar." Someone get Helen Hunt on the phone!


The best part is the Warning says the best place to be in a tornado is in the basement. Uh, ok, last time I checked Sparky, no one in So Cal has a freaking basement! They tend to fill with debris during those shaky things we get here.

All joking aside and as a service to my massive readership, at least one of you is in the area affected. Plan accordingly.

(((UPDATED)))

Um, yeah, ok, so no joking, apparently they are urging people to get off the beaches (what the hell is wrong with you people who are there!?!) and Newport Beach is getting 72 mile per hour wind gusts. In the words of Philip Seymour Hoffman, "it's the wonder of nature, baby!"
(guitar solo at 1:52 by Ritchie Blackmore of Deep Purple, "Child in Time" because I know that is exactly what you were needing to know right about now.)

(((UPDATED again)))

A car was flipped, windows smashed, and a chunk of roof taken off by "probably" a tornado says the National Weather Service!?! Oh good, well, at least it wasn't a Cloverfield attack. Sheesh.

I've always wanted a hurricane named after me

Well actually, I still think storms should be named after women (call me old-school that way), but, since this is the first major hurricane named after me, I'll take it, especially since its an ass-kicking Category 5!

(AP Photo/NOAA)

Fortunately, this bad boy will likely decrease in strength to a Category 2 before it makes landfall, which is good. Growing up in a hurricane zone, I used to track these things with my dad, back before the internet made early warning a breeze. Here's hoping any one in my, err, its path is prepping for it.

Man, I give this whole thing a sphincter-factor of about 9.5!

Hurricane Fred spins up in the Atlantic!

Ok people, this is very serious! Hurricane Fred is out in the middle of the Atlantic, and you know what that means. No, it doesn't mean make fried pineapple rings (though that sounds really good). It means aliens who use water-based technology are about to surface and/or send mile high waves to destroy us. Oh come on! Haven't you ever seen "The Abyss"!?! According to the brilliant and very underrated performance by Jimmie Ray Weeks as Leland McBride: "Well it's official sportsfans. They're calling it Hurricane Frederick and its going to be making our lives real interesting in a few hours." And wouldn't you know it, just a few pages of script and film reels later and what do you know, there's waves that no self-respecting practioner of the endless summer would ever dream of riding. So, if you know anyone on an oil platform in the Atlantic, ask them to tweet you if they see any Russian Water Tentacles. Kthx!